I'm speaking of myself in the third person in the title here, as if I have a staff of people who are behind the scenes going, "Well, let's see, how should we phrase this? She hasn't been posting here for so long and now she has started again. How do we explain this? Do we tell them what is really going on, or should we smooth it over with some creamy smoothing words designed to make pretend that the Grand Pretense in real, real, real..."
O sorry! As you can see from the picture I'm having fun delving into the silly meanderings of the ego thoughts that I hear. I do sometimes listen to my thoughts, as Eckhart Tolle so helpfully tells us to do, but sometimes they are just too entertaining to throw away.
What have I, the entity known as Laurie Immekus, been doing? Where have I been? How would you like that answer, in terms of where in the world or where in the mind?
Okay, in the mind until recently I had been experiencing a hellish existence, full of "delightful opportunities for forgiveness" for some time, perhaps for most of this lifetime. As I worked more and more with spiritual principles it became more and more extreme. I was too despairing to write about it here, or maybe I was taking it too seriously, because everyday was a "fracking" (scifi fans will get that word) challenge to find some peace of mind. When I was with other people, it was easier, most of the time. But not with all people.
I don't want to focus on that too much because it appears to be over. I am now, thank you All That Is Holy, experiencing such great peace and joy, and I'm so grateful.
I had friends who said that Peace was so important, it was so worth it to reorganize your life even if it meant letting go of a lot of things that were seemingly important, but were causing you too much unhappiness. Mary and Robert of Pathways of Light told me that, and thank you so much dear friends. I finally saw this was the direction for me. I let go of some things, including a friendship with someone, because I couldn't be peaceful around him. It was something I didn't want to do because I believed that I should be able to apply the concepts of the Course (A Course in Miracles) to all my relationships.
Now who do you think was thinking that I should do something? Could it be, oh I don't know--the ego? LOL! Yeah, who else?
I got clear on that part, that it was the ego that was telling me basically that I needed to make myself be peaceful about everything that was happening in my life. I had been believing I had to tow the line, and like it, or otherwise I wasn't being a good Course student. LOL!
I let that go.
Then I had another jolt! I started to see that I had been believing this: that I needed to take care of my friend, that it was my responsibility and that he couldn't make it without me. When I tried to let this friend go out of my life, I felt so guilty for abandoning him.
Wow, how grateful am I that I finally became aware of that, AND that I was able to take that to Spirit. Spirit healed me so so so so so much.
What is my responsibility? Well, if I believe the Course, and I do, my only responsibility is to accept the Atonement for myself. To me that means to accept the truth, that only Love is real, that everyone is connected, that I am not in charge of keeping the world safe or even one person safe. I am not in charge of anything except my willingness to turn to Spirit for every need. Thank you thank you thank you Spirit. I love you so much.
What happened to my friend? Within days, my friend was living with other people, safe and sound. Spirit took care of him, too, and still does, I'm sure, in every way.
Okay, so what is Lau-- , ahem, am I doing now? I think I will take that to the next post. I Love you, Dear Love Heart.
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