Reposting this for the Holidays

Reposting this for the Holidays!


Here is my Light Experience of August 1990, placed on the internet in June 1996:

Laurie's Experience 


======== Newsgroups: talk.religion.newage,alt.consciousness.near-death-exp,alt.consciousness.mysticism,alt.life.afterlife,alt.paranormal.channeling,alt.religion.course-miracle,alt.out-of-body,sci.philosophy.meta Subject: A Light Experience: Part Two From: Laurie Immekus Date: Thu, 27 Jun 1996 00:34:20 -0700 

What follows is a repeat of A Light Experience: Part One: 

I want to tell you about a mystical experience I had: 

Part One: Searching and Despair 

About six months after I started studying "A Course in Miracles (ACIM)" and applying it to my life, I had an experience which had subsequently changed my life and beliefs. It was similar to a near-death-experience, except I didn't die or nearly die. It was similar to an out-of-body experience, except I was not experiencing the physical level of awareness or dimensions; I saw a place of unlimited dimensions. And the experience was preceded by despair. 

I could really relate to ACIM right from the beginning. I felt the book had been written just for me. It was what I had been waiting for. One of the early statements in the first book says that there are many paths to the Truth, and this is but one of them. I like that. I have been to a lot of churches and groups and it seemed that they all said "We're the ONLY way to Truth." I always hated that. I always thought, "Why would God create people and then only keep a handful of them." That didn't make sense to me. 

So eventually, I stopped looking. And I started living in despair. It became a constant state of being, and so I stopped noticing it. It was only later, when it went away, that I realized how it had been rooted deep in my heart. 

I hated living here. In this world, I mean, not the city, state, or country, but the world and society. I was very cynical--in fact, I prided myself on my cynicism, making fun of people whom I thought of as "simple-minded fools," people who had faith in something. 

Many times in my life I had thought about suicide. I came close to suicide when I was 21--but that's another story. Suffice it to say I can really relate to young adults who feel hopeless enough to see suicide as the only way out. I understand, and I mourn those who go through with it. I know desperation, and I know it is nearly impossible to see beyond it. Only now, now that I am living on the other side, now that I have found the way out of the maze of despair, now do I see it is not hopeless.(If you want to talk about this, e-mail me or post a note on the news line.) 

So even though the people in my life didn't appear to know it, I was always depressed; I always had a big smile and I pretended that I was fine--but I was lying. I believe now that I was chronically depressed. 

I'll leave you now. In the next posting I'll describe the events leading up to my mystical experience. 



Part Two: Finding a Path 

As I said in part one, my life was desperate and suicidal. When I was 16, my mother died. I was devastated. For many years afterward I searched for something that could make me feel safe. The Course in Miracles describes this search as hearing the Call. It says we will do many things to get around answering the Call, many things to delay our spiritual search. You can delay, but eventually you must answer. 

I did delay. Over a period of about 15 years I tried many things to make me feel safe: I was a teenage runaway; lived in a commune; wrote poetry; became a small press publisher; tried to understand yoga, Buddhism, and reincarnation; abused drugs--especially hallucinogens--alcohol, and sex; went to college; got married and divorced; started a career; and used therapy and recovery groups to help "straighten out" my life. But no matter what I tried, what I did, I wasn't happy. I still felt a deep desire for something that made me feel empty. 

I found myself at a place of serious spiritual contemplation. 

I started reading "new age" spiritual literature. I liked it, but no matter how many books I read it wasn't enough. 

One day I heard the words "A Course in Miracles." I was astounded. I said, "You mean there's a course...in miracles?" The title spoke to me. I wanted to see it. 

The next week I bought the book without ever having read any of it. I think now that this book was meant for me all along. I am not proselytizing...this book is not for everyone and I would not push it on anyone. But I opened the first page, read it, and knew I had come home...to my home. I had been looking for this book all my life. I understood what it was saying because these were the things I had always believed but which scared me terribly: the belief that this world is a fake, that everyone is scared, that most people are looking for scapegoats, that there is a lot more than what we see and hear--there is a much larger world. 

For six months I studied the Course avidly, for hours a day. I started a group for Course students in my area, mostly people I knew from the local Unity church and recovery groups. I loved what it said about how God Himself would reach down and take us Home to Heaven when the time was right. My desire to go Home was growing. 

Following is part three of a synopsis from the upcoming book, "Light Experiences," copyright 1996 by Laurie Immekus. No portions of any parts of the synopsis may be used for private gain or profit or in any way without written permission of the author, Laurie Immekus. 

Dear One and All, 

I tried to send this part three, three times from my computer and it wouldn't work. Then I got the message that I needed to add the copyright notice to it before I sent out anymore parts of the story. Someone told me they had made copies of the story to share with their group--that's fine with me. This copyright notice is just to keep others from using this story in commercial ventures. Now let's see if this will mail out. 



A Light Experience: Part Three: Waking up in Heaven 

As I said in part two, I wanted to go Home, Home to Heaven. And I became convinced that God could and would take me Home if I made Him see how much I hated it here in this world. I didn't realize then that I don't have to "show" God anything--He already knows everything about me. 

One day it hit me--I couldn't stand it here in this world anymore and I was ready to go Home. But I wasn't going to commit suicide--no, I didn't need to. By that time I had learned that I could go to God with all my thoughts, wants, and needs. So I thought, "God must know how miserable I am here. I'm going to ask Him to take me Home to Heaven today." I felt convinced that He would do it. 

Over the next 16 hours or so I prayed and meditated that God would take me home to Heaven. I believed. 

I was tremendously worked up during this experience: I was crying and yelling and raving...and then I'd fall into a deep meditation. Every time I came out of meditation hours later and found myself still here, I was so surprised, and even more upset, and I'd start over. 

The next thing I knew, I was Awake...Awake for the first time I ever remembered! Not dreaming! This world is a dream in comparison to where I was. I call it Heaven. 

First let me say that words cannot convey this experience because words are mere symbols of thoughts which are symbols of awareness. 

I noticed many things all at once: my awareness was superhuman...I seemed to know everything. It was all there in "front" of me...truth, knowledge, awareness--everything. I didn't have to work at it--it was just there. 

I knew/experienced that there was nothing but Love. I was "in" Love. It was so intense that there was no room for any lesser thoughts, any non-thoughts. And I knew that Love and Peace and Joy and Truth and many other things are exactly the same thing and dwelt in the same place. And this was the place! 

I became aware that this place included ALL the dimensions. Unlimited, unnumbered. Before this experience, I didn't have a clue as to the concept of dimensions. I had read about them in science fiction stories, but I always visualized alternate dimensions as different places that were a lot like out dimension, but had different things going on. But this experience of dimensions was more like this: if this world were two-dimensional then we would be living on a flat surface. Pretend we are looking at this world in a drawing on a piece of paper. Then think about the person who is in the third dimension--like this world--who is looking at the paper drawing. 

Looking at this world was kind of like looking at a drawing on a piece of paper--only much more so, because instead of being three dimensions or four or five or any number, it was ALL dimensions. A place where numbers are meaningless. 

The ultimate awareness of being in this place was that I was at that very moment right inside of God. God was "holding" me with all the Love there is. And God was in me, in every "pore" of my being. And God was a BEING, not just a concept or a principle or an accumulation or things or anything without consciousness. God was the ultimate consciousness, and "He" was completely aware of my presence. 

The way I was being held, I knew I was God's Creation, and just like Him. I use the word "Him" because it's familiar and it implies consciousness, but God was in no way a gender--we were way beyond the material realm here. 

The closest description I can come up with in words and visualizations is that I was immersed in God, much as a drop of water is immersed in the ocean. But even that doesn't do justice to this experience, because I think of a drop of water as something separate from the rest of the water, but cohabiting with it. And I was not separate from God in any way--God was in every "part" of me. 

I just wanted to stay there forever and ever and ever. But that was not to be. Still, there was something else I needed to see. 

Following is part three of a synopsis from the upcoming book, "Light Experiences," copyright 1996 by Laurie Immekus. No portions of any parts of the synopsis may be used for private gain or profit or in any way without written permission of the author, Laurie Immekus. 

Dear One and All, 

Here is Part Four of A Light Experience: 

A Light Experience: Part Four: Seeing God's Treasure 

I was inside of God, and I just wanted to stay there forever and ever and ever. 

Then God said, "Do you want to see something more beautiful than anything else?" (I'm paraphrasing here. God didn't talk or use words, actually I just knew what he wanted me to know, so I call it talking for lack of better words.) 

I knew that, to God, what He was going to show me was the most beautiful of all--His Treasure. Of course I said, "Yes!" 

Then we went to a "place." Before that, we were not really in a place, we were just "in" each other. There was nothing else, and yet everything was there. But now we went to a distinct place. I knew we were still in the realm of all-dimension, and yet we were "seeing" things. But we weren't using eyes to see, it was Vision. 

There were many things there. But finally God brought my attention to an altar or stage of some sort. It reminded me of one of those platforms a doll would stand on and a glass jar would cover. It was surrounded by Light--Real Light, not physical light, Light that was all-dimensional, not limited like something in the physical realm. And the Light formed a oblong like a glass jar would over a doll stand. 

I knew that this was where God wanted me to look, that this was His Treasure. And then it began. 

I saw person after person. God showed me people through a higher perspective than I have ever known possible. I saw them, one after another, just as they appeared "down below" on earth--or at a place of lower awareness--with their egos, their life roles, their bodies, their beliefs, their convictions, their awareness. 

I saw people that I would have been repulsed by or impressed by when looking at them from a lower awareness. But in that higher view I actually saw that they were made out of The Light. It wasn't physical light, which is limited to the physical dimensions, but Real Light, multidimensional, spiritual. The thought "spiritual" takes on a new meaning under that view; it's not a religious thing or a worship thing, it's more like clarity or Reality. 

I understood that we were in a place of unlimited dimensions, but more than that. I saw that God was telling me that we are always in that place, we are always in Heaven, we are always in The Light. A place where we are made out of The Light, where we ARE The Light. And it didn't matter what role or body or belief system or job or intentions the person thought he had, what high state of office or power or prestige or what lowly state of poverty or self-reproach or ignorance or depravity the person was living in--The Light was the same for everyone. 

And something else. 

Each person was sooooo lovely, so startlingly beautiful, that their egos, bodies, and roles were also beautiful. There was nothing that could change the reality of what they were--The Light. 

This was truly a most beautiful sight. 

Then I felt something pulling at me. I felt myself leaving this place. "No! No! I don't want to go," I said. I was surprised. I had no idea that I was going to have to leave, and I didn't want to go. But God had other plans for me. 

Many things happened to me as a result of this experience: I had a period of startling clarity here in the material realm, I started hearing the Holy Spirit--God's Voice here in this realm, I experienced mental healing, I started to channel, and everyday my psychic abilities grow. One thing became very clear to me: I always knew, from that moment on, that God is my constant companion. And yours, too. 

Thanks for reading my experience, A Light Experience. I am currently in the process of making it into a book along with the experiences of other people. If you are interested in the possibility or your story be included, or if you know someone who might be interested, please contact me at laurieimmekus@gmail.com

Love and Behappy, 

Laurie 

Depression: To Meerah the Red Octopus aka Carolyn Kim

Dear Friend, take heart. You are not alone.

Some things about Depression:

Depression often comes from a desire to have something that appears to be missing. This is relatively new information to me, someone who has lived a life with depression. Knowing this helps me quite a bit because when I start to get depressed I can ask myself: what do I think is missing. Those who are listening to Spirit know that nothing real can be missing. Only the ephemeral can be missing, and that is always missing, because it is only temporary.

Depression may also come from anger. In the 12-step groups there is a saying that depression is anger-turned-inward. When you are angry and turn that anger on yourself it becomes depression. Why do we become angry? Maybe we are not getting something that we want to have or to have happen? That goes back to the first point, something appears to be missing.

Depressed thoughts are circular. One thought leads to another to another and round and round and these thoughts cannot be stopped or answered or satisfied. If someone asks why you are depressed it would be hard to pinpoint only one reason. The reasons go on and on.

Depressed people, who are also angry, may have thoughts about killing themselves. We all know that. One person can feel this way for a lifetime and never go through with it. Another person can feel this way once and that is all they need.

Suicidal thoughts are also angry thoughts. Sometimes the desire to punish or stop something or someone is what motivates suicide.

Many of us who have lived with depression have been trained that we don't have the right to disagree or voice our opinions. The situations that triggered us to silence our voices happened early in life, and might not be remembered easily. Some people go through hypnosis and other helpful techniques to uncover these answers. Also, practiced spiritual listening sessions, mind watching, and guided meditations can help a lot.

I addressed this to Meerah because she has disabled comments on her blog, but really this is for all of us.

Love to you, Always,

Laurie

My Original NDE posting

I found a link to someone's repost of my original NDE posting at a chatboard: http://www.nwffacim.org/tgp/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=3267

Here is a link to my light experience of 1990, originally put on the internet in 1996:

http://www.mindspring.com/~scottr/nde/laurie.html

Hugs and Love!

Laurie

Note: June 7, 2015: Scott's NDE website is no longer available.

I am honored to be among the ministers of God



Laurie, Rev. Kathy, Rev. Sharyn

 Dear Friends, I am grateful and honored to be with all of you in heart and mind and oneness.

This is to announce that I have finished the curriculum to become a Pathways of Light minister and was ordained November 21, 2010.

My first Pathways of Light minister facilitator was Rev. Kathy Thompson, who made her transition on July 19, 2010. I was blessed to have spent many hours with her during the previous year and a half before that because I had moved about a half an hour from Bumpity Road, the ONEderful, high-energy-of-love home where she lived with Robert and where everyone was welcomed.

My second minister facilitator was Rev. Sharyn Zenz, whom I had known and loved from attending the Wednesday night meetings at the Pathways facility. Shortly after Kathy’s transition, I started hearing and knowing Kathy’s guidance. One thing we both agreed on was that I needed to finish up my ministerial program post-haste and that I should ask Sharyn to help me finish it.

Sharyn lovingly accepted. Together we have shared this beautiful path with both of us knowing and feeling Kathy’s presence.

Thank you Kathy and Sharyn for your love, guidance and friendship on this amazing journey. I am honored to be among the ministers of God.

Love Laurie

Note: Pictured in order are Laurie, Kathy and Sharyn

Laurie's new Facebook picture

My sister, Julie, and my friend, Kathy Thompson, made my day yesterday.

Yesterday I looked at my Facebook picture and decided I needed one that was more current. So I took some new portrait pictures from my laptop camera to put on Facebook. After a few pictures, I took one that shocked me: I looked old! Then I started laughing, and I took pictures while I was laughing, and finally used one of those pictures.

What made me laugh is that I know in Reality [1] I am not a body, there is no time or space, I am always God's Child and in the Presence  and within the Essence of God.

But still, it bothered me throughout the day, without me being aware of what was bothering me. And I had a tough day, which is unusual for me. At the gym, Kathy said, "Do you know how magnificently beautiful you are." I felt a knot in my throat and I coughed and barked at her, then felt my eyes tingle as the tears started to come. "Most of the time I believe it when you say that," I told her. "I don't know why, but I don't today. But it's okay, this too shall pass [2] ."

When we were done swimming, I dropped Kathy off at Bumpity Road, then went home.  As usual, I checked my email before going to bed. There was an email from my sister Julie. It was a note that she had left me a message on my Facebook page. It read: Love the picture. You look so young! 

Leave it to God to find someone to give me that message. And Julie, bless her dear heart, was a perfect someone to do that.

The messages from A Course in Miracles are there of course: I am not a body, I am as God created Me, [3] and others.

Why do I think God gave me that message, through Julie? After all, I am not young, nor old. I am eternal. Why would God have her say "you look so young" when God knows that being young is an aspect of the material dimensions, something that is referred to in metaphysical literature as being an illusion, a dream.

Because God knows me soooo well. He knows me completely. He knows that was the message I needed to trigger the healing of my thoughts. That doesn't mean it was the message everyone else would need for the healing of their thoughts, although, I'm sure it would work for some others, just not for everyone. Because in this world, each of God's teachers have different gifts. [4]

The answers I receive from God are direct to me, and I'm grateful to receive them. I pass them on to you with the knowledge that they might or might not not speak to you. Please take what you can use and leave the rest, with my blessings.

Everything is Love,

Laurie


References:

1. When I say here, in Reality, I am speaking of Spiritual Reality as defined in A Course in Miracles and other Metaphysical studies. In this specific instance, the thoughts after the word "Reality" are all aspects of this.

2.  "This too shall pass." A saying many are familiar with. Eckhart Tolle uses this saying to illuminate the concept of impermanence, or of all things being temporary in the material realm or dimensions. On the internet, see also this link to the wikipedia included with this article.

3. Lessons from ACIM.

4. God gives special gifts to His teachers, because they have a special role in His plan for Atonement. Their specialness is, of course, only temporary; set in time as a means of leading out of time. (M.4.1.4-5)

Immersion in Love

I woke up in Heaven in August, 1990. I was immersed in Love. And the Love was God. And God Loved me with the intensity and core of Its Being, which is everything. And I Loved It-All-Me with the intensity and core of Being, which is everything. There is nothing more to search for after that.

Then, after some "experiences" similar to the one above, I was brought back to this world. I found myself standing in my room, my head back and my eyes up. Stunned, opened, in a state of Grace I opened my ACIM book and was led to read "The Happy Dream."

I spent two weeks in joy. During the last few days, the joy and vision and sense of completion faded, and disappeared. Then I was bereft. I didn't want to be here. But one thing I knew, God is Real. That awareness has served to bring me here, a brighter place.

It was a 20-year voyage in this place called time - world - place. A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and other tools have served in my healing, of the healing of Laurie. This healing has been to remove the blocks to the awareness of love's presence. Block by block. Surrender by surrender.

I have a vision of a computer game, remove the blocks to the awareness. It's about surrender. I have to give up playing the game, sit back and let a Higher Source play the game through me. I will try to interfere, but will be most successful when I put down my "arms."

That's this world I'm seeing. A computer game. A play. A dream. An image. An imagination. It's a tool...or a weapon, depending on how I see it. It serves me, or it serves me up on a platter. My choice. It's amazing how often I picked the latter choice, thinking I had no choice. But, no guilt. It didn't really matter wh...at I chose, because the end is sure.