Reposting this for the Holidays

Reposting this for the Holidays!


Here is my Light Experience of August 1990, placed on the internet in June 1996:

Laurie's Experience 


======== Newsgroups: talk.religion.newage,alt.consciousness.near-death-exp,alt.consciousness.mysticism,alt.life.afterlife,alt.paranormal.channeling,alt.religion.course-miracle,alt.out-of-body,sci.philosophy.meta Subject: A Light Experience: Part Two From: Laurie Immekus Date: Thu, 27 Jun 1996 00:34:20 -0700 

What follows is a repeat of A Light Experience: Part One: 

I want to tell you about a mystical experience I had: 

Part One: Searching and Despair 

About six months after I started studying "A Course in Miracles (ACIM)" and applying it to my life, I had an experience which had subsequently changed my life and beliefs. It was similar to a near-death-experience, except I didn't die or nearly die. It was similar to an out-of-body experience, except I was not experiencing the physical level of awareness or dimensions; I saw a place of unlimited dimensions. And the experience was preceded by despair. 

I could really relate to ACIM right from the beginning. I felt the book had been written just for me. It was what I had been waiting for. One of the early statements in the first book says that there are many paths to the Truth, and this is but one of them. I like that. I have been to a lot of churches and groups and it seemed that they all said "We're the ONLY way to Truth." I always hated that. I always thought, "Why would God create people and then only keep a handful of them." That didn't make sense to me. 

So eventually, I stopped looking. And I started living in despair. It became a constant state of being, and so I stopped noticing it. It was only later, when it went away, that I realized how it had been rooted deep in my heart. 

I hated living here. In this world, I mean, not the city, state, or country, but the world and society. I was very cynical--in fact, I prided myself on my cynicism, making fun of people whom I thought of as "simple-minded fools," people who had faith in something. 

Many times in my life I had thought about suicide. I came close to suicide when I was 21--but that's another story. Suffice it to say I can really relate to young adults who feel hopeless enough to see suicide as the only way out. I understand, and I mourn those who go through with it. I know desperation, and I know it is nearly impossible to see beyond it. Only now, now that I am living on the other side, now that I have found the way out of the maze of despair, now do I see it is not hopeless.(If you want to talk about this, e-mail me or post a note on the news line.) 

So even though the people in my life didn't appear to know it, I was always depressed; I always had a big smile and I pretended that I was fine--but I was lying. I believe now that I was chronically depressed. 

I'll leave you now. In the next posting I'll describe the events leading up to my mystical experience. 



Part Two: Finding a Path 

As I said in part one, my life was desperate and suicidal. When I was 16, my mother died. I was devastated. For many years afterward I searched for something that could make me feel safe. The Course in Miracles describes this search as hearing the Call. It says we will do many things to get around answering the Call, many things to delay our spiritual search. You can delay, but eventually you must answer. 

I did delay. Over a period of about 15 years I tried many things to make me feel safe: I was a teenage runaway; lived in a commune; wrote poetry; became a small press publisher; tried to understand yoga, Buddhism, and reincarnation; abused drugs--especially hallucinogens--alcohol, and sex; went to college; got married and divorced; started a career; and used therapy and recovery groups to help "straighten out" my life. But no matter what I tried, what I did, I wasn't happy. I still felt a deep desire for something that made me feel empty. 

I found myself at a place of serious spiritual contemplation. 

I started reading "new age" spiritual literature. I liked it, but no matter how many books I read it wasn't enough. 

One day I heard the words "A Course in Miracles." I was astounded. I said, "You mean there's a course...in miracles?" The title spoke to me. I wanted to see it. 

The next week I bought the book without ever having read any of it. I think now that this book was meant for me all along. I am not proselytizing...this book is not for everyone and I would not push it on anyone. But I opened the first page, read it, and knew I had come home...to my home. I had been looking for this book all my life. I understood what it was saying because these were the things I had always believed but which scared me terribly: the belief that this world is a fake, that everyone is scared, that most people are looking for scapegoats, that there is a lot more than what we see and hear--there is a much larger world. 

For six months I studied the Course avidly, for hours a day. I started a group for Course students in my area, mostly people I knew from the local Unity church and recovery groups. I loved what it said about how God Himself would reach down and take us Home to Heaven when the time was right. My desire to go Home was growing. 

Following is part three of a synopsis from the upcoming book, "Light Experiences," copyright 1996 by Laurie Immekus. No portions of any parts of the synopsis may be used for private gain or profit or in any way without written permission of the author, Laurie Immekus. 

Dear One and All, 

I tried to send this part three, three times from my computer and it wouldn't work. Then I got the message that I needed to add the copyright notice to it before I sent out anymore parts of the story. Someone told me they had made copies of the story to share with their group--that's fine with me. This copyright notice is just to keep others from using this story in commercial ventures. Now let's see if this will mail out. 



A Light Experience: Part Three: Waking up in Heaven 

As I said in part two, I wanted to go Home, Home to Heaven. And I became convinced that God could and would take me Home if I made Him see how much I hated it here in this world. I didn't realize then that I don't have to "show" God anything--He already knows everything about me. 

One day it hit me--I couldn't stand it here in this world anymore and I was ready to go Home. But I wasn't going to commit suicide--no, I didn't need to. By that time I had learned that I could go to God with all my thoughts, wants, and needs. So I thought, "God must know how miserable I am here. I'm going to ask Him to take me Home to Heaven today." I felt convinced that He would do it. 

Over the next 16 hours or so I prayed and meditated that God would take me home to Heaven. I believed. 

I was tremendously worked up during this experience: I was crying and yelling and raving...and then I'd fall into a deep meditation. Every time I came out of meditation hours later and found myself still here, I was so surprised, and even more upset, and I'd start over. 

The next thing I knew, I was Awake...Awake for the first time I ever remembered! Not dreaming! This world is a dream in comparison to where I was. I call it Heaven. 

First let me say that words cannot convey this experience because words are mere symbols of thoughts which are symbols of awareness. 

I noticed many things all at once: my awareness was superhuman...I seemed to know everything. It was all there in "front" of me...truth, knowledge, awareness--everything. I didn't have to work at it--it was just there. 

I knew/experienced that there was nothing but Love. I was "in" Love. It was so intense that there was no room for any lesser thoughts, any non-thoughts. And I knew that Love and Peace and Joy and Truth and many other things are exactly the same thing and dwelt in the same place. And this was the place! 

I became aware that this place included ALL the dimensions. Unlimited, unnumbered. Before this experience, I didn't have a clue as to the concept of dimensions. I had read about them in science fiction stories, but I always visualized alternate dimensions as different places that were a lot like out dimension, but had different things going on. But this experience of dimensions was more like this: if this world were two-dimensional then we would be living on a flat surface. Pretend we are looking at this world in a drawing on a piece of paper. Then think about the person who is in the third dimension--like this world--who is looking at the paper drawing. 

Looking at this world was kind of like looking at a drawing on a piece of paper--only much more so, because instead of being three dimensions or four or five or any number, it was ALL dimensions. A place where numbers are meaningless. 

The ultimate awareness of being in this place was that I was at that very moment right inside of God. God was "holding" me with all the Love there is. And God was in me, in every "pore" of my being. And God was a BEING, not just a concept or a principle or an accumulation or things or anything without consciousness. God was the ultimate consciousness, and "He" was completely aware of my presence. 

The way I was being held, I knew I was God's Creation, and just like Him. I use the word "Him" because it's familiar and it implies consciousness, but God was in no way a gender--we were way beyond the material realm here. 

The closest description I can come up with in words and visualizations is that I was immersed in God, much as a drop of water is immersed in the ocean. But even that doesn't do justice to this experience, because I think of a drop of water as something separate from the rest of the water, but cohabiting with it. And I was not separate from God in any way--God was in every "part" of me. 

I just wanted to stay there forever and ever and ever. But that was not to be. Still, there was something else I needed to see. 

Following is part three of a synopsis from the upcoming book, "Light Experiences," copyright 1996 by Laurie Immekus. No portions of any parts of the synopsis may be used for private gain or profit or in any way without written permission of the author, Laurie Immekus. 

Dear One and All, 

Here is Part Four of A Light Experience: 

A Light Experience: Part Four: Seeing God's Treasure 

I was inside of God, and I just wanted to stay there forever and ever and ever. 

Then God said, "Do you want to see something more beautiful than anything else?" (I'm paraphrasing here. God didn't talk or use words, actually I just knew what he wanted me to know, so I call it talking for lack of better words.) 

I knew that, to God, what He was going to show me was the most beautiful of all--His Treasure. Of course I said, "Yes!" 

Then we went to a "place." Before that, we were not really in a place, we were just "in" each other. There was nothing else, and yet everything was there. But now we went to a distinct place. I knew we were still in the realm of all-dimension, and yet we were "seeing" things. But we weren't using eyes to see, it was Vision. 

There were many things there. But finally God brought my attention to an altar or stage of some sort. It reminded me of one of those platforms a doll would stand on and a glass jar would cover. It was surrounded by Light--Real Light, not physical light, Light that was all-dimensional, not limited like something in the physical realm. And the Light formed a oblong like a glass jar would over a doll stand. 

I knew that this was where God wanted me to look, that this was His Treasure. And then it began. 

I saw person after person. God showed me people through a higher perspective than I have ever known possible. I saw them, one after another, just as they appeared "down below" on earth--or at a place of lower awareness--with their egos, their life roles, their bodies, their beliefs, their convictions, their awareness. 

I saw people that I would have been repulsed by or impressed by when looking at them from a lower awareness. But in that higher view I actually saw that they were made out of The Light. It wasn't physical light, which is limited to the physical dimensions, but Real Light, multidimensional, spiritual. The thought "spiritual" takes on a new meaning under that view; it's not a religious thing or a worship thing, it's more like clarity or Reality. 

I understood that we were in a place of unlimited dimensions, but more than that. I saw that God was telling me that we are always in that place, we are always in Heaven, we are always in The Light. A place where we are made out of The Light, where we ARE The Light. And it didn't matter what role or body or belief system or job or intentions the person thought he had, what high state of office or power or prestige or what lowly state of poverty or self-reproach or ignorance or depravity the person was living in--The Light was the same for everyone. 

And something else. 

Each person was sooooo lovely, so startlingly beautiful, that their egos, bodies, and roles were also beautiful. There was nothing that could change the reality of what they were--The Light. 

This was truly a most beautiful sight. 

Then I felt something pulling at me. I felt myself leaving this place. "No! No! I don't want to go," I said. I was surprised. I had no idea that I was going to have to leave, and I didn't want to go. But God had other plans for me. 

Many things happened to me as a result of this experience: I had a period of startling clarity here in the material realm, I started hearing the Holy Spirit--God's Voice here in this realm, I experienced mental healing, I started to channel, and everyday my psychic abilities grow. One thing became very clear to me: I always knew, from that moment on, that God is my constant companion. And yours, too. 

Thanks for reading my experience, A Light Experience. I am currently in the process of making it into a book along with the experiences of other people. If you are interested in the possibility or your story be included, or if you know someone who might be interested, please contact me at laurieimmekus@gmail.com

Love and Behappy, 

Laurie 

Depression: To Meerah the Red Octopus aka Carolyn Kim

Dear Friend, take heart. You are not alone.

Some things about Depression:

Depression often comes from a desire to have something that appears to be missing. This is relatively new information to me, someone who has lived a life with depression. Knowing this helps me quite a bit because when I start to get depressed I can ask myself: what do I think is missing. Those who are listening to Spirit know that nothing real can be missing. Only the ephemeral can be missing, and that is always missing, because it is only temporary.

Depression may also come from anger. In the 12-step groups there is a saying that depression is anger-turned-inward. When you are angry and turn that anger on yourself it becomes depression. Why do we become angry? Maybe we are not getting something that we want to have or to have happen? That goes back to the first point, something appears to be missing.

Depressed thoughts are circular. One thought leads to another to another and round and round and these thoughts cannot be stopped or answered or satisfied. If someone asks why you are depressed it would be hard to pinpoint only one reason. The reasons go on and on.

Depressed people, who are also angry, may have thoughts about killing themselves. We all know that. One person can feel this way for a lifetime and never go through with it. Another person can feel this way once and that is all they need.

Suicidal thoughts are also angry thoughts. Sometimes the desire to punish or stop something or someone is what motivates suicide.

Many of us who have lived with depression have been trained that we don't have the right to disagree or voice our opinions. The situations that triggered us to silence our voices happened early in life, and might not be remembered easily. Some people go through hypnosis and other helpful techniques to uncover these answers. Also, practiced spiritual listening sessions, mind watching, and guided meditations can help a lot.

I addressed this to Meerah because she has disabled comments on her blog, but really this is for all of us.

Love to you, Always,

Laurie

My Original NDE posting

I found a link to someone's repost of my original NDE posting at a chatboard: http://www.nwffacim.org/tgp/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=3267

Here is a link to my light experience of 1990, originally put on the internet in 1996:

http://www.mindspring.com/~scottr/nde/laurie.html

Hugs and Love!

Laurie

Note: June 7, 2015: Scott's NDE website is no longer available.

I am honored to be among the ministers of God



Laurie, Rev. Kathy, Rev. Sharyn

 Dear Friends, I am grateful and honored to be with all of you in heart and mind and oneness.

This is to announce that I have finished the curriculum to become a Pathways of Light minister and was ordained November 21, 2010.

My first Pathways of Light minister facilitator was Rev. Kathy Thompson, who made her transition on July 19, 2010. I was blessed to have spent many hours with her during the previous year and a half before that because I had moved about a half an hour from Bumpity Road, the ONEderful, high-energy-of-love home where she lived with Robert and where everyone was welcomed.

My second minister facilitator was Rev. Sharyn Zenz, whom I had known and loved from attending the Wednesday night meetings at the Pathways facility. Shortly after Kathy’s transition, I started hearing and knowing Kathy’s guidance. One thing we both agreed on was that I needed to finish up my ministerial program post-haste and that I should ask Sharyn to help me finish it.

Sharyn lovingly accepted. Together we have shared this beautiful path with both of us knowing and feeling Kathy’s presence.

Thank you Kathy and Sharyn for your love, guidance and friendship on this amazing journey. I am honored to be among the ministers of God.

Love Laurie

Note: Pictured in order are Laurie, Kathy and Sharyn

Laurie's new Facebook picture

My sister, Julie, and my friend, Kathy Thompson, made my day yesterday.

Yesterday I looked at my Facebook picture and decided I needed one that was more current. So I took some new portrait pictures from my laptop camera to put on Facebook. After a few pictures, I took one that shocked me: I looked old! Then I started laughing, and I took pictures while I was laughing, and finally used one of those pictures.

What made me laugh is that I know in Reality [1] I am not a body, there is no time or space, I am always God's Child and in the Presence  and within the Essence of God.

But still, it bothered me throughout the day, without me being aware of what was bothering me. And I had a tough day, which is unusual for me. At the gym, Kathy said, "Do you know how magnificently beautiful you are." I felt a knot in my throat and I coughed and barked at her, then felt my eyes tingle as the tears started to come. "Most of the time I believe it when you say that," I told her. "I don't know why, but I don't today. But it's okay, this too shall pass [2] ."

When we were done swimming, I dropped Kathy off at Bumpity Road, then went home.  As usual, I checked my email before going to bed. There was an email from my sister Julie. It was a note that she had left me a message on my Facebook page. It read: Love the picture. You look so young! 

Leave it to God to find someone to give me that message. And Julie, bless her dear heart, was a perfect someone to do that.

The messages from A Course in Miracles are there of course: I am not a body, I am as God created Me, [3] and others.

Why do I think God gave me that message, through Julie? After all, I am not young, nor old. I am eternal. Why would God have her say "you look so young" when God knows that being young is an aspect of the material dimensions, something that is referred to in metaphysical literature as being an illusion, a dream.

Because God knows me soooo well. He knows me completely. He knows that was the message I needed to trigger the healing of my thoughts. That doesn't mean it was the message everyone else would need for the healing of their thoughts, although, I'm sure it would work for some others, just not for everyone. Because in this world, each of God's teachers have different gifts. [4]

The answers I receive from God are direct to me, and I'm grateful to receive them. I pass them on to you with the knowledge that they might or might not not speak to you. Please take what you can use and leave the rest, with my blessings.

Everything is Love,

Laurie


References:

1. When I say here, in Reality, I am speaking of Spiritual Reality as defined in A Course in Miracles and other Metaphysical studies. In this specific instance, the thoughts after the word "Reality" are all aspects of this.

2.  "This too shall pass." A saying many are familiar with. Eckhart Tolle uses this saying to illuminate the concept of impermanence, or of all things being temporary in the material realm or dimensions. On the internet, see also this link to the wikipedia included with this article.

3. Lessons from ACIM.

4. God gives special gifts to His teachers, because they have a special role in His plan for Atonement. Their specialness is, of course, only temporary; set in time as a means of leading out of time. (M.4.1.4-5)

Immersion in Love

I woke up in Heaven in August, 1990. I was immersed in Love. And the Love was God. And God Loved me with the intensity and core of Its Being, which is everything. And I Loved It-All-Me with the intensity and core of Being, which is everything. There is nothing more to search for after that.

Then, after some "experiences" similar to the one above, I was brought back to this world. I found myself standing in my room, my head back and my eyes up. Stunned, opened, in a state of Grace I opened my ACIM book and was led to read "The Happy Dream."

I spent two weeks in joy. During the last few days, the joy and vision and sense of completion faded, and disappeared. Then I was bereft. I didn't want to be here. But one thing I knew, God is Real. That awareness has served to bring me here, a brighter place.

It was a 20-year voyage in this place called time - world - place. A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and other tools have served in my healing, of the healing of Laurie. This healing has been to remove the blocks to the awareness of love's presence. Block by block. Surrender by surrender.

I have a vision of a computer game, remove the blocks to the awareness. It's about surrender. I have to give up playing the game, sit back and let a Higher Source play the game through me. I will try to interfere, but will be most successful when I put down my "arms."

That's this world I'm seeing. A computer game. A play. A dream. An image. An imagination. It's a tool...or a weapon, depending on how I see it. It serves me, or it serves me up on a platter. My choice. It's amazing how often I picked the latter choice, thinking I had no choice. But, no guilt. It didn't really matter wh...at I chose, because the end is sure.

The Day After Laurie's Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday, but there was no yesterday, only the eternal now. What that means to me is so beautiful. I used to feel sad when I heard people talking about "all time is now" and "there are no special days." I thought I was going to lose something wonderful and happy and delicious and gorgeous and amazing, and have to go back to dreary every-dayness. But that has changed.

Now everydayness, the eternal now means all the beauty, all the joy, all the amazing loveliness of grace and peace and happiness is everyday. It's all here - now. I'm feeling it, I'm experiencing it, I'm living it. All now. Everyday is my birthday, Christmas, the Fourth of July! All Holy days are now.

I have added a Prayer Service to my daily practice. I have been praying for everyone in the world, everyone who has ever lived, who is living now, or will ever live. I pray for the highest good of all, turning it all over into the hands of our Source.

I am also praying for individuals. I will be giving specific information on the Light Experiences website very soon as to how you can submit a prayer request and/or join the group of Prayer Partners who are praying for those on this list.

Praying for others on a list is such a light-enhancing experience. It has brought more light, love, peace and joy into my life than I would ever have guessed. I will have more information on this at the LE website very soon. In the meantime, if you are interested, just email me at Laurie@lightexperiences.com. Love is all there is! Laurie

More coming soon!

Spirit Guide in my dreams teaching me

I had another amazing dream...oh, I forgot, I didn't put the other one here. Last month I had a dream and actually saw one of my spirit guides and saw/felt/experienced how we were connected by a "rope of love". It was amazing, wonderful, uplifting and I knew it was a true connection. I saw the face with love outpouring of my spirit guide and it has infused me. Then night before last I had another dream

and I saw a different spirit guide with so much love pouring into me, into everything. Again, it lifted me to a higher perspective where I am experiencing everything is divine. Thank you, Oneness, for your everlasting love. This month I have been receiving the awareness of how I am being healed more and more, how greater Self esteem is being revealed to me as the untruths fall away. I saw how before

.I had a "desire" to have a relationship with someone, and I felt like I was "without" them, like I needed them to make me feel whole. As the Spirit is healing that in me it is leaving behind the clear experiencial knowledge that I have no need for something from the outside. The "low" self esteem is melting in the sunlight of True Self esteem. It's so hard to explain, but I see it in my mind as it is happening

This is something that I have heard others explain and I sometimes wondered if they were saying that they didn't need other people anymore, meaning that they were complete in their own little self. That is not the meaning here, I am saying I already am connected to that other person, persons, in fact, all persons. I am experiencing the awareness of that connection, and in that, there is no more need

There is only need where a lack appears to be. The imagined "wall" between me and others is melting. This reminds me of that song, Macarthurs Park, LOL! Oh Macarthurs park is melting in the dark, oh the sweet cream icing flowing down...only it's not melting in the dark, it's melting in the Light of Real connection, Real Love...Oneness. So it seems like I haven't been doing much lately, but in actuality, I have been

watching this occur, and feeling so much joy in the experience, in the unfolding. It's so amazing

And the love I have for others now is magnified. It's much easier to see them as the love they are, rather than the complaints, the angers, the lacks, the irritations...those things are so so so much easier to overlook. I see on the Horizon that I will, someday, not even see those things at all. And I have noticed that the more often I take time to just get quiet with Spirit...the more I am healed.

It's not a platitude, it's a real process. Well, real in the sense that I am experiencing it happening in my awareness. So yesterday I was experiencing that everything was in perfect order, everything that I experienced was like a ballet...it all just flowed together...it didn't matter what it was, each experience just flowed into each other experience like a divine dance. Thanks for listening, Dear Love.

Spirit helps me "cope" with other's pain

As I was saying in an earlier post today, I was having an amazing experience of the divine dance yesterday. 

During this time, I got a phone call from someone who was not as happy as I was. She was saying how I whitewashed things about people and didn't see the "truth" about them, not like her. 

No, I said, I'm seeing things from a different perspective. 

Then I thought, wow, what a waste to not be able to use the "painful gifts" of others to help you learn how to forgive, how to forgive yourself, how the let go of feeling like a victim, how to learn to soar in the freedom of this joyous feeling. I was thinking, wow, I'm so glad I'm able to use this painful gift so much more than I used to.

I said, would you rather be right or happy? If you didn't recognize it, that is from A Course in Miracles. It's a a famous question because the ego always wants to be right. The ego says, I know what's going on here, they are hurting me on purpose, they are crucifying me, I'm the victim, they are the perpetrators, I'm innocent, they are devils, I'm right...miserable, but right. 

So when I don't see that about the ego, I don't realize that it's always true that what you see in others, you see in yourself. You cannot see a devil without believing it is you as well. I said, Peace is something really really worth protecting. I didn't say much because I'm letting Love guide me, when I can get out it the way, LOL. I am reminded that it doesn't matter what I say, what I said, it doesn't matter. I probably won't reach into someone else's heart with words. (Funny for an English Major to say that, LOL!) It's the love in my mind that really helps, so I just started visualizing the person I was talking to as being what they truly are, the light, the love, the Real Light, the Real Love, the Connecting Force. Thank you for the opportunity for more healing, Dear Love.

Note: I was thinking, oh my friend is not seeing that. And now I'm seeing, Neat! They are a mirror to me. There is still a part of me that sees the "devil" in others, no matter how "small" that part is, or I wouldn't even see it in that friends words. I wouldn't see anything but the Divine Light that she is.

What has Laurie been doing?

I'm speaking of myself in the third person in the title here, as if I have a staff of people who are behind the scenes going, "Well, let's see, how should we phrase this? She hasn't been posting here for so long and now she has started again. How do we explain this? Do we tell them what is really going on, or should we smooth it over with some creamy smoothing words designed to make pretend that the Grand Pretense in real, real, real..."

O sorry! As you can see from the picture I'm having fun delving into the silly meanderings of the ego thoughts that I hear. I do sometimes listen to my thoughts, as Eckhart Tolle so helpfully tells us to do, but sometimes they are just too entertaining to throw away.

What have I, the entity known as Laurie Immekus, been doing? Where have I been? How would you like that answer, in terms of where in the world or where in the mind?

Okay, in the mind until recently I had been experiencing a hellish existence, full of "delightful opportunities for forgiveness" for some time, perhaps for most of this lifetime. As I worked more and more with spiritual principles it became more and more extreme. I was too despairing to write about it here, or maybe I was taking it too seriously, because everyday was a "fracking" (scifi fans will get that word) challenge to find some peace of mind. When I was with other people, it was easier, most of the time. But not with all people.

I don't want to focus on that too much because it appears to be over. I am now, thank you All That Is Holy, experiencing such great peace and joy, and I'm so grateful.

I had friends who said that Peace was so important, it was so worth it to reorganize your life even if it meant letting go of a lot of things that were seemingly important, but were causing you too much unhappiness. Mary and Robert of Pathways of Light told me that, and thank you so much dear friends. I finally saw this was the direction for me. I let go of some things, including a friendship with someone, because I couldn't be peaceful around him. It was something I didn't want to do because I believed that I should be able to apply the concepts of the Course (A Course in Miracles) to all my relationships.

Now who do you think was thinking that I should do something? Could it be, oh I don't know--the ego? LOL! Yeah, who else?

I got clear on that part, that it was the ego that was telling me basically that I needed to make myself be peaceful about everything that was happening in my life. I had been believing I had to tow the line, and like it, or otherwise I wasn't being a good Course student. LOL!

I let that go.

Then I had another jolt! I started to see that I had been believing this: that I needed to take care of my friend, that it was my responsibility and that he couldn't make it without me. When I tried to let this friend go out of my life, I felt so guilty for abandoning him.

Wow, how grateful am I that I finally became aware of that, AND that I was able to take that to Spirit. Spirit healed me so so so so so much.

What is my responsibility? Well, if I believe the Course, and I do, my only responsibility is to accept the Atonement for myself. To me that means to accept the truth, that only Love is real, that everyone is connected, that I am not in charge of keeping the world safe or even one person safe. I am not in charge of anything except my willingness to turn to Spirit for every need. Thank you thank you thank you Spirit. I love you so much.

What happened to my friend? Within days, my friend was living with other people, safe and sound. Spirit took care of him, too, and still does, I'm sure, in every way.

Okay, so what is Lau-- , ahem, am I doing now? I think I will take that to the next post. I Love you, Dear Love Heart.

My initial experience starting the Pathways of Light Ministerial Program

What follows is going to be very embarrassing to me to share. The reason I am doing it is that Holy Spirit tells me that it will be helpful to the Mind we share. I hope you don't think badly of me for the kinds of thoughts I had which I share here, but I guess I have decided that if Holy Spirit wants me to share this, then it will be okay for me to look like a fool. Okay so here goes:

I had great resistance to starting the Pathways of Light (PoL) courses, even though I also had a great desire to do them. The first four courses took me about a year, with a lot of spaces in between.

I found the first course particularly difficult. I didn't think I liked starting with something that looked (to me) like it was for beginners.

At that time I had been studying ACIM for 17 years facilitating and educating, and had been in 12-step groups before that facilitating and sponsoring. During the last 20ish years, I had facilitated, taught, written, illustrated, ate and slept spirituality. I had also been a member of the Milwaukee ACIM community on broadcasting ACIM discussion groups on public access for three years. Further, I had a brilliant mystical light experience waking up inside of God. I was such an expert!

So I looked at the first PoL course, 132: Self-Image Transformations, and I wondered what I had gotten myself into. How was I going to complete this course? As I skimmed through it I thought, this is beneath me. It's below me. I am so much more advanced than this. I worked on stuff like this before I started ACIM. Now what?

Well, I heard the thought, I could just read the questions and fill in the answers, and I will get through the minister program and get my minister's credentials. Then I'll be a minister. And on and on with this kind of thinking.

I saw I was having these thoughts, and I felt guilty about them, but I couldn't get past them. And I didn't want to just do the courses to get my minister's credentials. I knew that was not a path I wanted to take. So while I was watching my mind, my own thoughts were repulsing me. At that time I don't think I shared that with others.

So I did meditate pretty often and one day soon after that the Holy Spirit said, "You can learn something to help you where ever you are from anything in the world, Laurie. What you can do with the PoL courses that will be most helpful to you is to apply them to whatever is happening in your life at the same time that you read that particular course. And if something comes up from the past or future that's fine also. You still can apply your thoughts and feelings about it as that thing applies to you right now. I will be with you as you read and apply these courses to your life, and I will guide you in what to do with the course you are on."

This came as such awareness to me, and I was so happy. So I started again, and lo and behold…

…course 132 was a completely different experience for me, as were those which followed. It was like a personal communication with exercises between the Holy Spirit and me: my own personal learning experience. Also, I no longer believed it was a course that was just for beginners after all, nor would there be anything wrong with that. It is for anyone at any place of Self-discovery.

That doesn't mean my resistance went away. It still took me about a year to complete the first four classes. But each one of those courses was a learning and healing experience.

Now I've been a student of ACIM for 18 years, and I am grasping the Course more intensely and seeing it come alive at a new depth because I am using these courses and applying them to whatever is happening in my life right now.

I'm seeing also not to be embarrassed or ashamed of "my" ego thoughts. They are guides to what Holy Spirit can heal for me. I can turn them over to Holy Spirit without fear of embarrassment. The ego thoughts are not really my thoughts, for they are not eternal. And I am.

(Note: I have noticed that when I shared on chat groups before, I was very caught up in how well my thoughts were regarded by others. I have been asking for help on this issue and have seen more peace surrounding this, thankfully.)

Thank you, Father.

Hugs!

Laurie Immekus

Pathways of Light Ministerial Student

Forgiveness is my message from Holy Spirit today

This morning I was listening to Holy Spirit. My mind was noisy again, for a short time. I just want to give first, what my lesson/message was from Him so I don't forget.

He said I can apply forgiveness all day, more than I realized before. I can see that forgiveness is a part of the Diamond I saw from being in Heaven. The Diamond represents all the aspects of reality or those things in the illusion that lead to reality. So not only are giving and receiving the same, but forgiveness is the same with them because they are all parts, all facets of the Diamond.

He said I could use forgiveness all day long, practically in every minute.

One of the things he showed me is that I haven't forgiven myself for all the unforgiving roles I've played as a body in the illusion. It can work when you think of “past lives” or if you work with only “one life,” for as we know from ACIM Teacher's Manual:

There is no past or future, and the idea of birth into a body has no meaning either once or many times. Reincarnation cannot, then, be true in any real sense. Our only question should be, “Is the concept helpful?” [M.24.para1.lines 2-4]

So I was looking at some drama from my dream when I awoke this morning, and the Holy Spirit used it to help me in this way. In the drama, sometimes I was a prisoner/slave and sometimes I was a guard. The picture kept changing so I went back and forth being slave/master/prisoner/guard without a break in the story line. When I was a guard most of the time I felt so “good.” I wasn't afraid of anything and I felt like I was one of the good people. When I was a slave or prisoner I felt fear and guilt and shame and anger. I was in the group of people trying to escape. Next thing I know, I'm trying to stop the prisoners from escaping and from hurting us, the “innocent” ones.

So, fast forward to now: because I haven't forgiven myself for all the unforgiving roles I've played as a body in the illusion, I find many ways to keep this “role play” going on and on. One thing He showed me I do is to look for the role play when I watch TV: I like shows that I can use to make myself feel innocent, I join in the role of someone in the show. Obviously, this is the answer to the reason I like to watch shows in which they find the guilty person and lock them up, so we “good” people can be safe. But also, that it works in ways that don't seem so obvious. That I like some science fiction because the people in it are free of guilt, they are following noble goals, they are not trapped in “old-world” thinking.

There was a lot more coming to me from Holy Spirit but I'm going to finish this retelling of it for now. The main thing was that I can use forgiveness much more than I thought I could as the day goes on. Holy Spirit said that in almost every moment that I am “in the world” there is an opportunity for forgiveness.

Then when the lesson was over I had a clear mind again. I felt peaceful. And so grateful to have a bigger picture of how to forgive throughout the day.

Forgiving as it teaches in ACIM: that this is only a dream, you and I are not guilty, we are spirit. We are One with God and with each other. There are no bad people, no good people. There is only Us and we are in this together.

Thank you Father.

Hugs all

Somethin's goin on here...

...inside my mind. It's quiet!!!

Hallelujah! Halle-leu! Halle-leu!

And so I thought, does this mean I'm enlightened? Well I found out when I started listening to people on ACIM Gather and by reading stuff on this group that I'm not enlightened. I felt jealousy, lack, and saw myself planning ways to make myself look good. LOL! It's so funny, that ego is so funny when you watch it like this.

But what I'm noticing is now that my mind is quiet-er, it's much much easier to watch the mind. Well I was able to watch the mind before, but because of the pain in my thoughts/feelings, I had to do lots of things to cover up the pain.

Just take my word for it when you meet other Course students who are overweight or smoking or watching too much tv or doing something else that doesn't seem real consistent with letting go of the world, or you are doing it yourself, that person is 99.9% likely to be in real mental/emotional pain. Compassion is called for here...this is a hard way to get yourself ready for enlightment but it seems to be what works for some of us.

That's me. Or it was me, but now it really really looks like I'm free of it. This is the first time I'm talking about it after five days of it because I wasn't sure if the ego was fooling me and being quiet to lure me in. LOL! Now I know! There was a healing! A Healing! WooHoo!!!

This morning I was sitting in the kitchen having absolutely no cravings for food. So I just ate what I thought would be good for my body at the same time I was thinking about how my body isn't real. LOL! That's not normal for me!! Well, what I mean is, it WASN'T normal for me, but it is becoming normal for me. WOOT! (Did you notice I'm happy here?)

But the really really neat cool sweet part is that I just sat there in the quiet, and I had no desire to do anything. I need do nothing. Oh no, now I'm crying for joy just thinking about it. I'm so happy, so grateful. I love you all so much. Thank you, Friends. Going off to meditate now, will talk again.

Hugs All! Laurie Light Experiences

(note: reprinted from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/The_Peace_of_God/message/17118)

A Simple Act of Forgiveness, but how?

As the Amish families in Pennslyvania are forgiving today, the media is asking "How can you forgive so soon?"

Perhaps the media doesn't really understand forgiveness, at least not "advanced forgiveness." In advance forgiveness, we don't look at what the person did and try to accept it. Nor do we say, "It's ok that you transgressed. I will be the bigger person and forgive you."

Advanced forgiveness is much simpler than that, and also less understood. It is seeing the "reality" of the person, seeing them as we believe God would see them: as a spirit, as a child of God, as the love of God. We don't even look at their actions during the forgiveness process. This actually makes it easier if you can attempt this process because you don't have to look at what they did and try to understand it or accept it.

So we say, "I see you for who you really are, God's Child. Healed, whole, one with God, the Light, the Love of God. My brother. And in this light I see myself the same way."

Perhaps this is how Gandhi was able to forgive the man who shot him, causing his fatal wound.

You can be a force for love, God's Love, in this world. Just practice forgiveness everyday, with everyone you know, see, or meet. Including yourself.

For more information on forgiveness, God and Love, take a look at the books called A Course in Miracles (acim).

God is Love

God is Love. That is what I discovered during my light experience, when I went to Heaven. God is Love, and we are His creations: we are created FROM Love. In Love. As Love.

ACIM Gather this week: Worthiness

Greetings Dears!

This week during the Light Experiences chat group, hosted by ACIM Gather on Paltalk, we talked about "Worthiness" and David Fishman gave a synopsis of his light experience, which he experienced as an out-of-body experience, and experienced "electricity" going through his body. Thank you, David, that was so powerful. This chat group was a fantastic time and a meaningful time of sharing.

Please join us next Thursday when we will discuss "The Ego Screams" and will ask for a volunteer to share their light experience.

Childhood Out-of-Body Experience

Robert Mills shared his childhood light experience with us recently on the Light Experiences home page.

I met Robert Mills at Pathways of Light in Kiel, Wisconsin while we were both there at an Ordination weekend. Robert has dedicated his life to helping others and to following the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

You can hear Robert on the internet on Sunday mornings at 10 am eastern on ACIM Gather on PalTalk. Robert will conduct a Pathways of Light Inspired meeting. Here's the link: http://acimgather.org/specialevents.htm#Sun

Am I worthy to see a spiritual master?

A friend of mine saw Jesus, but was he worthy of it?

Do we have to earn the right to be worthy to see someone, say such as a spiritual master? I guess it seems like they would appear to someone who could carry their message to others, maybe that is why we think "worthiness" is an issue here.

Do you believe in spiritual masters who can appear and disappear at will?

Recently we have had a lot of "excitement" in this community because some well-known ACIM students/writers decided to challenge the idea that, Arten and Pursah, the spiritual masters of Gary Renard's books, even actually exist. Well, you probably know the rest, and anyway, that isn't the main focus of this discussion.

But I think it's important to notice that we are always talking to people who don't exist: each other. According to A Course in Miracles (as I understand it), there is only ONE of us. That is the meaning of Oneness.

So if you "see" someone who doesn't exist, (seeing meaning to detect them in some way), is it a mistake to talk to them?

What about Jesus? Isn't he one of them? There have been many many people who have said that they have seen him. Is that different than seeing Arten or Pursah?

Someone I know had an experience seeing Jesus about 30-some years ago. He was in his car, driving when suddenly Jesus appeared on the seat next to him. According to my friend, they had just a "normal" conversation, nothing deep or significant, and then Jesus disappeared into a ray of light. He was shook, but didn't tell anyone for fear of what they would think, if for no other reason than my friend is Jewish and he didn't think people would appreciate him seeing Jesus.

Twenty years later, when I told him about my experience with God, he decided to trust me with his experience of Jesus. I was the first person he had told.

"I can't figure out why he chose me," my friend said. "I'm Jewish."

"Maybe it wasn't just for you, after all you told me the story and it meant a lot to me," I told him.

In actuality, I think communication with someone who can have a spiritual impact on us, for whatever reason, is never just for "me" in the sense that I would believe myself to be a small, separate person. It is always for us, for the ONE us. We don't even have to share the experience in the normal sense because we share the one mind. We are all helped.